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   WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!

   Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!

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   WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular

   Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are

   becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe

   without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning

   that shows up in their Inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility

   Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward

   copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, E-Mail viruses,

   taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes [perhaps conspiracy

   theories should be included here].

   "These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery

   tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most

   are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if

   told to them by a stranger on a street corner."  However, once

   these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they

   believe anything they read on the Internet.

   "My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone,"

   reported one weeping victim.  "I believe every warning message and

   sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the

   messages are anonymous."

   Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about

   'Good Times,' I just accepted it without question.  After all,

   there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I

   thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim

   said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and

   state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she

   is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she

   says.

   Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the

   virus, which include the following:

    * the willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking

    * the urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others

    * a lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a

      story is true

   T. C. is an example of someone recently infected.  He told one

   reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost

   all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using

   shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T . C. said he

   would stop reading e-mail, so that he would not become infected.

   Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately.

   Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility,

   Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the

   item tempting them to thoughtless credence.  Most hoaxes, legends,

   and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the

   Internet community.

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   Forward this message to all your friends right away!  Don't think

   about it! This is not a chain letter! This story is true!  Don't

   check it out!  This story is so timely, there is no date on it!

   This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation

   points!!!  For every message you forward to some unsuspecting

   person, the Home for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents

   to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding

   these messages all over creation, you're obviously thinking too

   much.)

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